Saving Balinese Family

Wayan, Made, Komang and Ketut.. these names were so commonly heard right after the question "What is your name?" or "Siape name?" when we tried to make friends with the local in Bali. It was confusing at first cuz we, somehow, thought that, these names are the only options for Balinese to name their people.

In fact, similar to what we have in our Malay family, Wayan, Made, Komang and Ketut equal to our Along, Angah, Alang and Achik. And sometimes, Wayan is also called Gade; Komang is also called Nyoman; and Ketut, also has an alias.

Simple said: Wayan, Made, Komang and Ketut, these four names stand for one word in Bali:

FAMILY.

... and these four names were entirely applied to four Bali loafers that claimed themselves have 'adventurous' as their middle name.

Hence, these four names appeared most of the times in my every blog's entries when I talked about Bali life: the eldest Azwa the Wayan or Azwa Adventurous Wayan, Yahya the Made or Yahys Adventurous Made, Wongey the Komang or Aiman Adventurous Komang, and the youngest Fiza the Ketut or Fiza Adventurous Ketut.

I really do not know how to express my gratitude to these three comrades of mine. They made the journey of loafing in Bali so memorable and .. cool, hmmm..

Yahya the Made and I planned to go Thailand for our next trip. I kinda love this guy cuz strictly saying, he is the only one among my friends who really 'just go!' right after each traveling idea we made.

We both strongly agree, that too much planning and budgeting and hesitating, will only turn all dreams and ideas into rubbish.

"What would you do, if you just ignore all your fear?"

I somehow learnt to appreciate this quote when I realized that I've got too many dreams that eventualy turned into garbages.

Fiza and Azwa are kinda surprise for me. Fiza the Ketut always looks serene but you gotta believe what that there are similarities and differences between serene and clueless. She is humorous, mild-mannered but extreme reactor towards doggies.

Azwa the Wayan, relatively, is an aggresive young lady that actualy is the main drive to get lots of plans moving. Matured but playful, considerate but stubborn, wise but emotional -- Contradiction is Wayan's second name.

I wish to put more words on these three wonderful people, on this wonderful journey, and on this weird Balinese family. However, people will not have patience to read this entry if it is any longer. So allow me to save this post, save this memory, save this journey, save these friends, and save, this Balinese family.

Cold mountain

I was awake before the fog clouded over Danau Batur.

It was 5 in the morning. Yahya the Made, Azwa the Wayan and Fiza the Ketut were still sleeping, hugging tight the sweet dream they were having and slidding their tired body deeper into the warm blanket..

5:00 a.m. was freezing -- the temperature of Danau Batur area IS already chilling. I din put on any sweater, for some unknown reasons. Staying frozen in the highland of Bali could be some kind of cool experience, maybe.

I was waiting for a spectacular sunrise, which I was not so sure about. Gunung Batur and Gunung Abang were in front of me, guarding the crater lake, Danau Batur, which was formed after eruption of volcano. It is hard to imagine how a volcano eruption could happen in such a beatiful, peaceful, quiet place.

I believe Danau Batur, or Lake Batur, must be a kind of compensation given by Gods, as an apology after all the catastrophic eruptions happened on this land.

Don't tease me for being sentimental, you must come here and see it, or maybe, feel the gentle but sorry touch of Gods. (..but, 5:00 a.m. ..,ok?)

The fog started to cloud over when it was about 6:30 a.m. Danau Batur was fully covered by a blanket of soft white cloud. Mt Batur laid back into the darkness of the sky, but not Mt Abang. The outline of Mt Abang could be clearly seen, even the silhouette of the trees on the mountain was clear against the sunrise.

But it was freezing still. Sun lights did not penetrate the mountain, neither the warmth.. and out of a sudden, I thought of Cold Mountain, and the opening line of the movie, voice of Nicole Kidman just touched my heart..:

"Dear Mr. Inman, I began by counting the days, then the months. I don't count on anything anymore except the hope that you will return, and the silent fear that in the years since we saw each other, this war, this awful war, will have changed us both beyond all reckoning. "

As touching as the story, some warm-hearted feeling and some appreciation seeped into my heart. I know I've been sentimental in this post, that happened when some precious memory slipped in, about the journey in Bali, about the journey in life.

When the Henna fades, the journey ends..

To get ourselves really looked like a bunch of cool, wild, those kinda kick-over-the-traces naughty guys when we were loafing in Bali, on the very 1st morning of our days in Bali, we got ourselves tattoed...

...but since deep inside four of us are still those kinda kindhearted, well-behaved, gentle 'angel-like' species, we only got that ready-to-fade Henna 'tattoed' on our easy-to-cover body part.

I know, some of y'all will say I'm kinda nerd...

..eh-hem.. ...whatever.. (btw, I'm not..) ..there we go...

...we got our 'tattoo' in Kuta Beach with 50,000RP each.. (we then realised that we could even get one with much much cheaper RP..). Azwa The Wayan got a complicated fine-worked little butterfly on the back of her hand; Yahya The Made and Fiza The Ketut got theirs same pattern on same right arm as a...erm.. kinda declaration of love..; and me The Komang, had a real cool striking flare tattoed on none other than a lefty's left arm.

And guess what, after that we couldn't even fathom out how much infatuated we were with our Henna..

I mean at least for me, getting a real tattoo is always something I realy dream for.. Not only cuz' of the art, but also the spirit and the significance..

My Ibanese family once told me, Ibanese got their body tattooed when they started on a spiritual quest by traveling to the other land. I was so thrilled by this romantic story.. and right now right on the land of Bali island, suddenly I felt the mysterious 'spiritual quest' was right ahead of me..

But then, another significance of having a tattoo is the experience of getting disobidient.

I don't really know how did this feeling come to my head, but when you realise that life is conquered by tons of rules, disobidience sometimes make you feel lots better.

...while 'HE HAS TATTOO' always equals to 'HE IS A BAD GUY' in my conservative backyard, shouting 'SO-WHAT??!!!' back to all those blimpish old-fashioned rule-setter is always one of the coolest thing to do, bukan ke gitu?

...but.., still, pathetic enough, what I got was a Henna, the fake tattoo that will fade in 2 weeks time.. wasn't that a sign indicating the truth of '...AND STILL, YOU HAVE TO COME TO MY WORLD OF RULES...'???

'When Henna fades, the journey ends... ' I wrote this in my travelogue when I saw the fading flare on my left arm, in Jakarta, after my unforgettable trip in Bali.

Rebirth... to reality..

I thought I'm quite well disciplined but the hiatus happened in my very own blog indicates failure of my consistency, or my self-discipline.

Sorry for the hiatus.. I need to apologize after realising there are actually some readers out there waiting patiently for my posts.. and that really came to my real big surprise..

.... I put 'Rebirth... to reality' as this post's title for some reasons..

First, when u just entered the age of 25 --ok that was an optimistic way of saying that-- i should say, when u just finished your 2nd round of 12-year-circle and realizing u did nothing in your life, the hope for getting REBIRTH is a real desperate one...

..but that is not my main issue anyway~~~

My concern here is my second reason: REALITY...

After having a real unforgettable days in Bali, and after coming back to my routine to my work to my life, the word 'Reality' is such a pathetic reality to me...

Bali, is such a paradise..

...and as i failed to share the story of my trip to Phuket early this year due to various reasons (..or excuses, whatever u want..) .. Bali will be certainly my next post's story.

This I promise u.

Grey's anatomy: real life comes in shades of grey ..(II)

"I mean, seriously. Don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility. "

That was Grey's narration at the beginning of season one's Grey's Anatomy, episode 5: Shake Your Groove Thing. ..and the episode, really smeared some kind of feeling of invoked and touched, deep inside of me..

I still remember the day I cut my finger and was sent to a hospital in Bintulu, Sarawak. It was a government hospital and patients were asked to wait for treatment according to the urgency of the case. So as for my case, a tiny wound which needed 6 stitches, was considered 'less urgent' and I deserved a long wait after cleaning and sterilizing my cut.

Then a young man involved in a car accident was rushed into the hospital on a gurney. The wounded, hell bloody, shouting and crying, and his friends begging in tears, explaining what had happened to their friend to nurses and doctor -- the scenario, all and all, indicated there was a 'high urgency' case that demanding immediate treatment.

But, surprisingly, none of the personnel did that.

Yeah, my first thought after observing this was exactly the same to what comes into your mind at this moment: "what da shit hell these people are doing???"

..but then I heard something that really shocked me and, to certain extent, changed my perspective to a word that I've known it for such a long time, but now I was about to start to feel and realize it:

responsibility.

We know good enough that everybody, which including ourselves, has their own responsibilities, but when things happens, we only see other people's.

Like the case I saw in the hospital, I thought nurses and doctors were those holding full responsibilities to stop the wounded from suffering.. until a nurse shouted at the crying young man, in Iban language, which meant something like "it's your own pain, you caused it by yourself."

Suffering from our own pain, bearing our own mistake, crying on our own fault, feeling heart-torn about our regret...all, are our own responsibilities. She was right.

That was why personnel in the hospital acted 'not efficient enough', .... so that he could feel his pain, he could suffer from his mistake, before he really got treated surgically.

Well, things are sometime not mercy enough. Life isn't about a fairy tale.

Helps and cares sometime do not show up instant enough, because so-called 'after-treatment appreciation' is always the most valuable, where we really learn to be more matured, learn to be more considerate, and learn to be more responsible.

..but, if you are thinking that I am giving alibi or excuses, I will only say, that it is the perspective that matters. The bottom line is, don't blame any other people.


Ey, hoping someone will understand.
25 Jan 2006... 1829hrs.. hometown.

Grey's anatomy: real life comes in shades of grey ..(I)

I was surprised when seeing Sandra Oh of Grey's Anatomy won The Best Supposting Actress for the series in 63rd Annual Golden Globe Awards. In fact, I'd never thought of seeing 'Grey's Anatomy' listed in any winners' list in any categories.. ..

Not to say that Grey's Anatomy is a poor production for me that it does not deserve to win any prizes... Instead, I am addicted to the series, so much, more than Smallville and Lost. But what came to my surprise was, that Grey's Anatomy is, for me, a close-to-heart story that you'd never expect it will be put under the limelight, on a grand stage one day.

....the feeling is just like a little toy that you are very fond of, is actually a pearl or somekind of treasure which u did not expect..

......."Grey's Anatomy focuses on young people struggling to be doctors and doctors struggling to stay human. It's the drama and intensity of medical training mixed with the funny, sexy, painful lives of interns who are about to discover that neither medicine nor relationships can be defined in black and white.."...

My buddy Pesal introduced the series to me, and after that I knew why a pious rocker like him can be so addicted to the show as well.

The show is all about life.. where our faith, our responsibilities, our dilemma, our emotions, our steps when facing the morass of life, and our relationships with people around us, were all put together.. .. and the more you wish to deal with it wisely, the more you'll discover, that life is not about right or wrong, black and white. Real life comes in shades of grey.

eY, feeling to write something inspired by Grey's Anatomy; 24 Jan 2006.. 1353hrs, office

ps.. Grey's Anatomy is curently on air every wednesday 11:00pm on TV3.

When clapperboard claps..: My 1st filming experience

Yasmin Ahmad's blog always gives me some insight of producing a film. Besides, I read Christopher Doyle's hand-notes in filming, go through the ups and downs of Peter Jackson in producing King Kong, search the stories behind the scene of some of my favourite movies...

....and i couldnt believe, that I got a hands-on experience on filming one day..

There was a meeting this morning that actually evoked the memories and passion toward my very 1st filming experience.. In fact, the meeting was about producing another video presentation requested by our senior, after our previous video made a surprising debut to our senior during our company's Hari Raya celebration.


I wouldn't say that the Hari Raya advertisement that we've produced was a real masterpiece... for God's sake, that wouldnt be assumed any better than American Funniest Home Video .. but i do believe that it was the effort and passion and, yup, the heart, young hearts, that surprised and excited our seniors .

So glad to meet people like Azlan, Abang Fariz and Roy. U know when producing a film is such a far-away dream for me, they showed me how close my dream is by just having a Panasonic cikai handycam.. (sorry i use cikai...)..

...but, yeah as i said, it was the heart that made things valuable. ...


....and not to forget the ideas and the skills of putting our storyline into a video..

I was, indeed, surprised when the team know so much about directing and producing a film. Cuz before that, I thought with Yasmin Ahmad, Christopher Doyle, Wong Ka-Wai, Ron Howard and even Peter Jackson as my sifu, I needed to worry about all those stuff, which is a totally rocket science for me actually...


... ...but the team's knowlege and capabilities got me so embarrased about my arrogance..true.. .. and right from that moment on, I put myself in a roustabout position, which allowed me to really really, really learn from my real life sifu.


There was a gang of fun people I was working with beside my trio sifu.

Zul, Yahys, SJ, Tini, Aza, Lai, Amie and Abeh Weh...having them in the production team simply meant having tonz of tonz of tonz of fun in the working process.. ..


Abeh Weh and Amie were the main characters in the video while the rest, helped here and there, and played those no-name Mr A, Mr B, Madam Q and Miss XYZ.. ...

I made the clapperboard for the production.. it was, again, as cikai as it could be...( it was actually a writting board with some clapperboard design on it..) .. and i do still remember what i wrote on that:

"SCENE:

SHOT:
TAKE:
TITLE: IKLAN RAYE XCITE*
DIRECTOR: AZLAN + FARIZ = YASMIN AHMAD"

well i know, that sounds stupid enough, but.. as a dedication to Yasmin Ahmad, why not?... i mean, our heart..

eY, looking forward to our next video
17 Jan, 06 .. 2017hrs, in a chilling office.


*XCITE: Young Executives Club of my department in PETRONAS.