Feb 16, 2011

realize .. (..a sequel, perhaps..)


Once upon a time God gave me a vision of a bridge, and I perceived it as a hope for the final linkage of two lands...

.. I looked forward the bridge to come, and I whispered to myself, "I wish I could see how it built... I wish I could see how it built...." .. with tears down, I thanked for the guidance.

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Not long ago from then I looked at the bridge, I found my vision blurred...

... and I told myself, "keep your faith... the bridge is still there, InsyaAllah... " .. with tears down, I hoped it could clean the dusk from my sight...

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Not far away from now I reached the river bank, and I saw no bridge..

.. I hopelessly fell on my knees and asked God what happened... with tears down, dropped into the water of the river, I saw my reflection..

I saw a bridge. The bridge.

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Not so far away from now I was reluctant to accept the true message of the vision, avoiding the great responsibility that was assigned..

.. I helplessly begged God to take away the burden.. with tears down, I saw myself crumbled into bricks and pebbles, into sands and dusk...

I could never be the bridge...

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Just ago my struggle broke me down and I fell on my bended knees.. ..

"There's no bridge -- you are the bridge, face it.."

... the greatest challenge, the deepest dilemma, the darkest struggle, the most heart-tearing battle, the tinniest hope.. -- face it.

.. with tears down, I pray for strength, for perseverance, for wisdom, for guidance and for a stronger faith, to face a destiny that I couldn't run away from..


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Ps..
It took me more than 2 years to realize this heavy message behind the vision I received once upon a time...

I realized now, that the moment when I received the vision of a bridge once upon a time, a task had been destined to me already;

I realized now, that when I was on my bended knees once upon a time and praying for the bridge to come, a responsibility had been added on my shoulder already;

I realized now, that when I was on my bended knees once upon a time, listening to the fear of letting my loved ones down and wishing for a strength to raise myself up, a calling had been made louder in my ears already;

I realized now, that when I was writing about a bridge once upon a time in February 2009, and posted it and titled it as 'On my bended knees', another post echoing it with my realization, had been written, somewhere in my life, already.....


1 comment:

aaa said...

mm if its of any help, stms we forgot that what matters most is the effort, i believe thats what we'll all be judged by and not results.. for He knows best, kan.. wallahua'lam. prayers for the strength, wisdom, perseverance.. amiin..