"Go there, and make us proud.."

I was sipping mamee slrrp in my room while Taylor Hicks' DO I MAKE YOU PROUD started playing through my headphone.

"...I've never been the one to raise my hand, that was not me and now that's who I am..."

..all of a sudden, I felt like I was in the video clip of the song, describing the struggle of a young man, having mamee slrrp instead of a proper dinner, on his way pursuing his dream... (ahaks!)

..in fact, all of a sudden, I realized the change of time..

Which sparks in this universe triggered all the changes in my life and brought me here today? I always wonder.. but deep inside of me I always believe that someone out there (or up there) is monitoring me and doing all the arrangement to fit my future..

..who is that 'someone'? I think I know...

In spite of that, there are people I meet throughout my life till today, that I truely believe are part of the factors that molded me into the shape I am today. And sometimes I do relate all these people to the condition I face at one particular moment..

"... I guess I've learned, to question is to grow, that you still have faith, is all I need to know; I've learned to love, myself in spite of me, and I've learned to walk, the road that I believe..."

I still remember the words that my Big Boss Mr Effendy spoke to me right before I left my office and came here to pursue my further study. In fact till today, I dun really think that Mr Effendy agreed to let me go, but still, the words he gave was kinda injecting a warm feeling like a father's advice to his son:

"Go there, and make PRAM proud." PRAM, is my division in PETRONAS.

I knew I have another mission the moment I nodded earnestly.

... Coincidentally, there's a friend of mine who wrote the same thing to me on Yahoo Messenger when I first checked-in to the university of my Msc programme..

She said, "Study hard, make us proud.".. 'us', refers to my three wonderful friends whom I hung out with most of the time in KL.

... and there's a respectful old man who recently wrote this to me and really smeared a soft-touched feeling deep in my heart..

He wrote,"..if I could ever pick a son, one would be you.."... this old man, I call him Papa, is my coach.

... ... I know I simply have more reasons to keep faith in that 'someone' I mentioned before. As what I questioned before, "which sparks in the universe triggered all the changes in my life and brought me here today?", well maybe I can't give myself an answer, but I can stand without getting any answers for it. That 'someone' is the star in this universe that arranged all highs and lows in my life, as well as all the people I meet and I encounter with, for some particular unforseen reasons.

"...This is what we dream about, but the only question with me now, is do I make you proud? .."

The song "Do I Make You Proud" is not my favourite song, but it kinda express my concern to all the people I met, all the people I know, all the people that believe in me, and to that special 'someone' who will always answer my prayer when I look up..