"..abandoned.." -- Nick'a 's debut.

There lay a kitty under the old tree, white in color. Uncombed fur was the only part of its body which shivered, the rest, lay peacefully and quietly as if the kitty was only sleeping, not dead.

I parked near the body, staring at it and hence its surrounding.. It was a quiet and silent afternoon, the leaves of the old trees scattered everywhere, obviously nobody cared to clean them up. I looked at the railway station in front of me, the sign board of "Stesen Keretapi Batu Gajah" looked pathetically pale and the whole building was severely flaked off here and there..

I was still sitting in the car. Loading my Nick'a with its battery and some setting. It was my first mission out with Nick'a and I only had a spot but not any threads of idea of shooting good pictures out of here..

.. but I did feel that there was this 'something something' which lay behind what I saw over here..the quietness, the silence, the loneliness.. no, I didn't really manage to capture that particular feeling that haunted me.. until I heard the rumble of a train approaching..

Train?

Absolutely it was. So long, so loud, I witnessed it with my eye, rumbling on the railway in front of the platform, approaching the station, the train gave the station 2 honks as if there were people waving from the platform, rumbling never stopped, nor slowed down, passing by, passing by, so long, so loud, passing by, passing by...... ......

...... ......

The noise slowing down as the train getting further and further away from the station until it was finally muted. The train just passed by the station, it didn't stop. Everything was back to as before -- the quietness, the silent, the loneliness.. but not the clueless me.

I was dazed. I was stunned. The whole 'something something' was all about a 'timeless' touch of this place... I got it..

...trains will just be passing by and it'll not define any meaning of a 'station'..
...as wind keeps flowing by but I don't feel any meaning of time...
...as the leaves kept falling but they were no more any sign of growing of the tree...
...as the body of kitty lying over there, it didn't anymore indicate that there was an end of a life...

... ... only time is dead; the kitty, the trees, the railway station, are abandoned.

I got back into the car and pulled out my handbook. "Abandoned" I wrote. The song of The Fray, "Vienna", started to play in my head, defining the mood so well..

I held Nick'a in my hand, switched it on, "No gorgeous debut, Nick'a." I kinda told him. Yes, we were going to shoot stuff that people left behind, no gorgeous, only sampah we shoot.

ps.. please check out the Tabblo of Nick'a 's debut "abandoned" by clicking the link below

See Tabblo of '...abandoned...'

A Goodbye Kiss and A Welcoming Hug.. A Romance..

Well, no picture header this time-- cuz this is going to be a post filled with two contrary emotions: "Goodbye", and "Welcome", and when two emotions contradicting each other, my state of mind is just like the blank header, it's blank.

The Romance goes like this: A guy having someone is welcoming someone else into his life, and he's going to say goodbye to the ex-someone ...although there are 1001 of unwillingness of doing so, but he'll still kiss goodbye..

The Romance, on the other hand, goes like this too: This guy finally found that precious someone he has been looking for and waiting for, on the day with his lucky number, 17, on the date. He was a lil bit of clueless when he was holding this precious someone, as he never expected this happened as soon as this -- although he did expect that something good will happen on his 'lucky number day' and he thought the contented feeling he got out of the movie '300' was good enough...

... should I just cut the crap and tell you what's going on?

This masculine guy on the left proved that he is tough, and reliable. I love him not only because he does wonderful works but, I love him because all my passion started from him, and I carried with him.--- My 1st digital camera, Olympus C-760 Ultra Zoom, tough and adventurous he is, I'm still going to need him, especially his unbelievable 10times zoom and colour extraction, but still.. I'm going to kiss him goodbye....

...because of this another someone....

...my very 1st DSLR -- sophisticated Nikon D40.. I have so many trust in him, hence so many hopes and so may expectations. He is going to be my new toy, more importantly, my partner of vision, who is going to freeze my appreciation towards a wonderful moment, a spectacular scene, or a sudden grasp of an abstract feeling.. and prove to my pa, that there are reasons for me to own this machine -- I welcome you, "Nick'a", and you have works to do, lots of it!

Curiously I have no much excitement of 'a dream come true', perhaps I am just being cautious of all the uncertainties about owning and using an SLR, but deep in my heart a voice telling me this: forget bout the skill needed, forget about those technical knowledge needed, I'll be romancing with my new romance, with the same passion carried along....

'Not-only-this' post-script... some footnote about my dream-like 'lucky number day': ok I got my FIRST DSLR, I got my FIRST experience sitting 2nd front row in a cinema, my FIRST taste of Frank Miller's style and art from the movie '300' (I din really watch Sin City closely), my FIRST time having a cup of drink in Starbucks (can you believe that??), and not to forget, I got my FIRST 'kain' from Dani. .. Thanks to Dehtol, Aula, Har of FOTOKEM, Dani of course, Juaane and 5zal.

As sincere as him... Mukhsin.

No, this is not a movie review.

...... ...... ......

I have been looking forward to Mukhsin since May 2006, and it became one of my most anticipated movies for 2007, listed together with Spider-Man 3, Transformers, The Pirates of The Caribbean 3 and Sumo-Lah.

---- a'ah.. no no. Sorry, there's no any Chinese movies listed here. So, you got problem?

Pardon me for being emotional here. I just couldn't hold myself to think of the disappointment I got when I was collecting my 5 reserved Mukhsin tickets from the miss big-eye behind the counter.

I got this reaction from her when she checked my reservation details on her pc screen:

"Mukhsin?" with raised eyebrow.

"Yes!" I answered proudly with big smile.. (she is adorably beautiful in the first place..).

"Can you repeat your booking number again?" this time with wrinkled brow, after a straight stare at me.

I followed her instruction. Booking number keyed in, same booking details reappeared: 5 tickets, seat numbers, my name, and MUKHSIN.

"... so... it's MUKHSIN..." she reconfirmed, emotionless tone, sounds professional for me though.

She printed the tixs out, I paid, she withdrew the tixs from the machine, gave the tix and the change to me, again, with straight stare, then there came the question of the year which Po'On, a friend whom I shared the question with after that, thinks I should really get frustrated right there right then..:

"WHY WATCH MALAY MOVIE?"

...... ...... ......

No, this is not a movie review, but this is a post to take my hat off to Yasmin Ahmad, the director of Mukhsin, Gubra, Sepet and Rabun; and at the same time, this post is to express my disappointment and sadness to those who don't really appreciate and see the effort as well as the message that Yasmin tried to deliver through her wonderful close-to-real-life movies.

What is so wrong for a Chinese to mingle 'TOO CLOSE' to Malays? What is so weird to have someone try to have his own life in a very 'Malaysian' way? Which is the hell damn logic those people refer to in order to claim a guy 'IS GETTING MALAY-IZED' because he is having 'ANTI-CHINISM' syndrome? Why on earth that watching and liking Yasmin Ahmad and Afdlin Shauki's films made a Chinese guy look dumb?

These things are still going on, even though we claim that we are now a model country that posses harmony in this multi-racial environment -- Man that 'harmony' you claim, is superfacial!

I'm confused. I thought I'm a MALAYSIAN, not Chinese nor Malay nor Indian.

Mukhsin of Yasmin Ahmad is another sincere plot to create awareness of the existence of Malaysian -- hey the films themselves are the product of Malaysian, and I believe they are dedicated to Malaysian -- so please don't bother about having an English-speaking character living in Malay community in the movie, and please don't bother about a chinese guy promoting the movie to his Malay friends, please don't bother about a chinese guy 'sibuk' je asking his friends out for Mukhsin or other Malay films....

...cuz he is just being sincere to his own belief, his own passion. As sincere as Yasmin Ahmad, as sincere as Mukhsin.

Thank you Kak Yasmin for allowing me to get some pictures of Mukhsin from your blog, and of course thank you for the wonderful journey of taking us back to our childhood in Mukhsin.

No, this is not a movie review, but if you insist on knowing how do I feel about Mukhsin? I would say Mukhsin is soothing, like the song sung by Kak Yam:

Mega mendung di angkasa
Hembusan bayu dingin terasa
Gerimis berderai di merata
Bagai mutiara

Rahmat di bawa bersama
Limpahannya meresap ke jiwa
Adakala bahagia terasa
Meskipun duka nestapa

... and please don't get bothered if a chinese guy keep singing this keronchong and then the downpour started.

Ps.. wanna know my answer to the QUESTION OF THE YEAR? "Because it's Yasmin Ahmad." ... and Ms Big-Eye smiled me off.

My big smile in Pangkor island.

Welcome back, at least to my sense of smelling the aroma of the land I was born.

... ... ... ...

It was lunch time. The sun shined blissfully on the shore and I could see the sea surface blinking with all those crystals. The breeze was perfect, and also the mood of everybody, and also the sway of the trees, and also the scene...

...but not my camera. I mean, I was having problem capturing the 'Pangkor in me' from the 'Pangkor I see'. I was a lil bit upset. I knew there's something about Pangkor that set it apart from Phuket and Bali, but I just couldn't pull it out to express it in my photographs.

When I felt coming to my wits' end after trying various shoots with various degrees of light exposure, angles and compositions, I heard this song.

Ikhlas tapi jauh, by V.E.

... and there came a breeze, there came the sights, there came the clinks, there came my smile.

What separates Pangkor from Phuket and Bali? The feel like being home.

What is the biggest appreciation of being home for people like me who seldom has the time to really spend my empty days at home? Laying back in all the familiarities.

Pangkor is certainly a place to be called a little village for those who miss the kampung atmosphere back then. The little village where everybody knows each other, the little village that everybody gathers in someone's house to try out the newly bought kara-ok., the little village that everybody ends their day not with a tiring face.....

...the village that you will feel noisy is simply merry but not disturbing-din cuz you certainly know who's cheering; the village that you will feel quiet is simply warmingly peaceful but not freaking lonely cuz you know everyone you know is just around.

This is Pangkor. To be exact, this is Teluk Nipah, not yet the whole Pangkor Island..