What's your deepest fear?

Out of many many different types of phobia that he could find, none indicates truly what happened to him. Maybe Prof Floyd and his successors have the psychological term for it, maybe.

Or maybe Cleptophobia terms the closest. Cleptophobia- fear of stealing. He met CodeName 'The Blue' and started to suspect CodeName 'The Blue' stole his talent. He never believed that talents can be stolen but now he firmly claimed that that was the only way that CodeName 'The Blue' owns his most precious ability -- the talent of building Fusion Web, and the ability of mixing himself into another colonial.

CodeName 'The Blue' appeared so much alike to him, he felt unsettled to think of another existence of 'himself' in the same world. "What if CodeName 'The Blue' did not steal ANYTHING from me? What if what he owns are what I own?" He thought to himself in one sleepless night, and suddenly he realized that the deepest fear of him was not about the fear of stealing, it was more than that. Maybe Eisoptrophobia could explain the deepest phobia of him. Eisoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors or of seeing oneself in a mirror. ... It was the 'another him' that feared him most-- which led to the fear of being not anymore special and unique, and original.

He decided to claim the privilege from CodeName 'The Blue'. He tracked him down, and finally they met face to face.

"What do you think is your deepest fear?" first question from CodeName 'The Blue'.

He was surprised as he thought the first question from CodeName 'The Blue' supposed to be 'why are you following me?' ..

"I thought mine was Symmetrophobia, cuz' I just couldn't stand to have two same things with same functions exist in a same space.." CodeName 'The Blue' continued.

Symmetrophobia- Fear of symmetry. Similar to his Eisoptrophobia. He realized that CodeName 'The Blue' had gone through the same reflection process too.

"I came from Zone K-1-579, same zone you're manufactured from, CodeName 'The Black'," apparently CodeName 'The Blue' tracked him down as well.

"... the Fusion Web..?" wondered CodeName 'The Black'.

"It is not a talent as what we claimed," CodeName 'The Blue' seemed to see through what's in his mind, "the Fusion Web was originally uploaded into our system, any spider who are from Zone K-1-579 can easily own this ability.." explained CodeName 'The Blue'.

Silence ensued. Meeting CodeName 'The Blue' made him sunk into deep thought most of the time. "...so you tracked me down too?" out of bunch of flying wonders in his mind, CodeName 'The Black' chose this to ask CodeName 'The Blue'.

"This is..." CodeName 'The Blue' paused and took a deep breath, then a long sad sigh, "..ironic...," he said, "... the ability of building Fusion Web allows us to mingle well with another colonial, and even sometime allows us to be transformable into their type -- this ability should have created the sense of embracing variety, but we just couldn't accept the fact of having another one of ourselves who could do the same..." explained CodeName 'The Blue' sadly.

"..even though the fact of having another one of ourselves IS a part of the variety..." CodeName 'The Black' finished up the untold part of the sentence , which is the most ironic part of their destiny..

"Yes.." CodeName 'The Blue' cleared his throat, "..that's why both of us tracked each other down after the day we met... it's not to get rid of, it's simply to reassure the sense of security to the meaning of existence of our own selves."

"To encounter face to face with our deepest fear.." CodeName 'The Black' mumbled when CodeName 'The Blue' turned around and left the spot.

What's our deepest fear? CodeName 'The Black' sunk in deep thought. The Cleptophobia, the Eisoptrophobia, the Symmetrophobia, all together they still couldn't quote the fear of loosing the privilege of being special and unique, and the sense of originality that boosted their confidence and molded their belief in life. Or, switching into another perspective, maybe it is Athazagoraphobia that terms the closest. Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotten or ignored.

Maybe.

Footnote: Behind the scene..
This is NOT a post that inspired or altered from SPIDERMAN 3, for God's sake. This post, is inspired by the true feeling and the true meeting that happened just recently in my life. However, the pictures are not recently snapped. I took these spideys' picture the day before our last field trip of my MSc. study, when I was preparing the 'SpideyScale', spending my leisure moment doing some handcrafts. Never thought that the pictures I took early this year will eventually help to visualize my feeling right here right now after 137 days of keeping it in my picture folder. Special thanks to Dani for sponsoring the CodeName 'The Black' spider.